Creating and Maintaining a Loving Relationship

Many people have in their life had great opportunities to find the love of their life and many have had it and just let it slip through their fingers and are now wishing if only they could turn back the hands of time. Love is more like a tender flower, to see it blossom in its glory, it must be tendered and cared for. “A happy ever after” in any relationship can only come with a sense of commitment to the success of that union by the parties involved.

The more mature and self aware we become before entering into a relationship, the better the odds of that relationship succeeding. As we grow older, we connect with more and more people in our daily lives, and encounter various circumstances and through these we experience changes and create new perceptions in our value system and ideals which might occasionally override those we held previously.

However, the fundamentals of any relationship whether it is with family, friends, and colleagues at work, or even the neighbours are basically the same. The following are a few salient points we should consider as we strive to create and maintain an enduring loving relationship.

Mirror Yourself
Most people talk about finding the right partner in their lives, but conversely they should be talking about being the right person for their partner. What qualities are you looking for in your partner? Do you have any of them in your own life? You have to realize that instead of looking for the right person to come and fill that void in your life, you have to be the right partner for that person and then you will attract people who are aligned to your true selves.

As you come to this self realisation, you will evidently soon begin to unconsciously come to terms with the fact that every successful relationship requires two conscious individuals who are committed to seeing that relationship work and are ready to make whatever changes necessary individually in order to achieve their desired goals in that relationship.

Have Clear and Realistic Goals
A lot of people set unrealistic ideals of which they want their probable partner to and should be, and often are not willing to make compromises.

We need to very distinctly clarify what our values, needs and preferred lifestyle are firstly and then we would be in a better position to attract the right person to fulfil these needs.

Learn to Love Yourself
Learning to love one’s self is one is the primal factors in finding true love and happiness in our relationships with other. Our deepest of emotions or even the most dismissive of our thoughts have a way of naturally coming true in our lives. The universe generally gives back to us what we are asking it for no matter how insignificant that request might often seem to be.

Love is no exception to this rule. Therefore, we must first love the person that we are no matter what our assumed inadequacies about ourselves might be. The love you have for your true person will inadvertently bring that love you have been dreaming of but that love must first grow from within you to become a reality in your very life.

Take Responsibility
We must internalise the fact that the success of our relationships rest on us and not put the source of our frustrations and the solutions to our problems on external forces.

Take full responsibility for your feelings and action and avoid playing the blaming game. Instead of always blaming others, we should look at situations more critically and look at where we might have fallen short in our responsibilities that might have led to that situation. Stop trying to change others and learn to start changing yourself from within to find true happiness and harmony in your relationship.

Spend Quality Time Together and Communicate Effectively
Communication has been researched and observed to be a common trait of any healthy couples. Lack of effective communication breeds misunderstanding, tension, and unhappiness and brings about relationship failures. Being a good communicator requires the ability to express one’s self and also to be a listener which involves you being able to listen attentively to your partner without being judgmental in any form.

Also, research shows that couples who spend the most amount of time alone together have been found to have the highest level of satisfaction in their relationships. You should try and share various kinds of common activities such as children upbringing together and also create room for activities that bring you both in closer personal contact more frequently and provide opportunities that allows both of you to think about and communicate ideas and solutions together.